Homeschool | Relaxed Homeschooling

Why Homeschooling Preschool is a Waste of Time

We’ve all seen it, you’re on a homeschool message board or Facebook group, and inevitably the questions will arise, “what curriculum should I get for my three-year-old”? After I recover from the whiplash caused by my eyes rolling so rapidly, I ask myself “why”? Why do people think they need preschool?

Homeschooling preschool is a waste of time for you and your child.

I believe preschool, in general, is a waste of time, but for a homeschooler, it seems particularly redundant and contrary to the idea of home education. Why has preschool become such a fixture in our society?

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Why Preschool?

I’m old enough to have grown up right before the mass hysteria of preschool. Kindergarten was half-day and primarily play. My memory is quite good, and Kindergarten was filled with picture books, some brief cut and paste type work, and lots of play.

All the girls would run to the toy kitchen whenever it was time to play. Outside we would play Red Rover, which I’m sure would not be allowed today, and we had a big, red tomato looking toy that one kid could get inside and everyone would push them around.

Very few of us had gone to preschool, and we weren’t expected to enter Kindergarten with any academic skills. Somehow we grew up and became successful, happy people.

Today, everyone laments a skills gap and how unprepared young adults are for life, but I would venture to say that the vast majority of recent high school graduates attended preschool. How do we make sense of this?

Better than preschool checklist for homeschooling preschool

Good Intentions

How often in society, and our lives, do we see the bad outcomes of good intentions?

A good intention is like the seed of a tree whose fruit we do not know.

-George Bernard Shaw

On the surface, preschool sounds good and it makes us feel good about ourselves for doing preschool, but at best it produces few positive results, and at worst is damaging.

In 1965, Head Start was created with the best of intentions. Of course, disadvantaged children need extra support, who could argue with that assumption? But most studies have shown that all positive gains are irrelevant by the end of third grade. A more recent study found all benefits were gone by the end of first grade.

However, the creation of Head Start seems to be the source of our preschool craze. Within 20 years, the necessity of preschool for all children seemed obvious.

One notable dissenter was homeschool pioneer Raymond Moore, whose book Better Late Than Early, outlines the origins of the early school movement and its erroneous assumptions.

Another serious influence on the family has been those professionals who insist that to deny preschool experience to the normal child is educationally and psychologically unsound. But such people commonly make a basic assumption that is not true. They assume that the rapid development of a young child’s intellect requires stimulation of a school-type program.

-Raymond Moore

Instead of providing care for those in need, we’ve instituted an educational rat-race we force children to join at 3 or 4-years old. When you think of it in those terms, does it remotely sound reasonable?

Homeschooling Preschool is a Waste of Time

The Good Intentions of Homeschooling Preschool

Parents who decide to homeschool preschool are doing it with the best of intentions. They don’t want their children to be “behind” or have gaps. Or we hear how their children are so smart and beg to do school work.

But are these reasons enough to disregard all the information we have that disproves its value and shows the possible adverse effects of early academic training?

I don’t think they’re reason enough, but the internet is still overflowing with preschool printables and curricula for homeschoolers.

But when the panic hits you in the middle of the night and you find yourself frantically searching for alphabet printables for your 4-year-old old, stop and take a breath. What is causing this belief that?

  • Fear your child will be perpetually behind
  • Concern that “experts” know your child’s needs better than you
  • A belief that you “have to” do preschool
  • The desire to have a product to prove your child is learning
  • You want to brag about your child’s intelligence (brutal honesty here)

Whatever the reason, there is so little to gain and so much to lose by introducing academics at too young an age.

Preschool Video Art Lessons

Life with Your Young Child

In a loving, connected family there is no need to send your child to preschool or to emulate that environment in your home. Everything a child needs to learn and grow can be found in everyday life, without the need for printables and workbooks.

You don’t need a particular scope and sequence now that they are four any more than you needed it when they were two. Young children are curious about everything. However, we must make the time to support that curiosity rather than rush between adult-scripted activities and lessons.

Before you start scouring the curriculum websites and snagging Pre-K workbooks, consider the reason you feel these are necessary and what would be a better use of your young child’s time.

Caution: You Don’t Need a Curriculum to Homeschool Preschool

Writing and Fine Motor Skills

I’ve combined writing with fine motor skills because they are so intertwined. Children’s fine motor skills develop at an individual pace. I’ve had children slower to gain these abilities and others that seem to be naturally skilled.

What everyday activities contribute to the development of fine motor skills? One that all my children have clamored to do is crack eggs. You have to be willing to lose a couple, but they learn quickly how hard to break the egg and how to use their fingers to separate the shell.

Also, nothing beats some blank paper and crayons or markers. Let them draw whatever they would like. By doing so, they are experimenting to find out how much pressure they should apply and what is needed to create a straight versus curvy line.

Lastly, mazes are great to help them develop the ability to take the crayon or pencil in the direction they want to go. The Kumon maze books are my favorite and have been loved by all my girls.

Number and Math Skills

Numbers are everywhere and there is no reason to think your child will be behind if they don’t have a formal lesson. The best place for real-life math skills is the grocery store.

  • Have them choose six apples or three lemons
  • My girls always loved to weigh everything on the produce scale. Ask which is more and which is less?
  • Which are cheaper, green or red grapes
  • If there are ten juice boxes and you have two children, how many can each have?

There are so many things to learn at the grocery store. Weights, colors, shapes, and sizes can all be discovered and discussed just be visiting the produce section.

Life Learning for Preschoolers

Music and Rhythm

Children love music, and it can be easily included in your day. Our favorites for kid tunes have always been Raffi and Laurie Berkner. They’re kid music even adults can enjoy.

But there are so many songs kids should know like London Bridge, Itsy Bitsy Spider, and Row Your Boat. Sing them and act silly. We played London Bridge and Ring Around the Rosie this summer in the pool.

10 Songs All Preschoolers Should Know

Also, much to my husband’s dismay, I’ve always had several instruments around for the little ones. My little guy loves a harmonica, but we have recorders, drums, xylophones, and more. Let them make some noise and find their rhythm.

In the Kitchen

You won’t get dinner made in a hurry, but your little one will have a wonderful time helping in the kitchen.

  • Give directions and let them retrieve the item you need from the refrigerator
  • Have them help you measure and show them the different sizes
  • Double a recipe and explain what you are doing
  • Let them wash the dishes (what young child doesn’t love that job)

It can be tough to allow them to “help,” but think of how you are helping them to be comfortable in the kitchen. This time being patient will pay off in the future.

Arts and Crafts

It doesn’t take much to keep a little one happy when it comes to crafts. They don’t care so much about a finished product yet and are delighted putting paint on the paper.

This is one of those areas where parents have a tendency to interfere with and care more about the final product than the child’s experience with the materials.

Don’t succumb to the pressure to produce a Pinterest worthy craft. Your kids don’t care; they just want to make something.

Preschoolers and free play

Outdoors and Nature

As we were walking into the library today, we spotted two caterpillars making their way across the parking lot. We stopped, watched their progression, and then said goodbye.

Nature is all around if we just stop and take notice. Watch the ants, listen to the birds, and talk about the clouds. It’s all new and unusual to your small child. Marvel with them.

Whether making mud pies or playing at the park, being outside gives them a chance to use those gross motor skills that might not be welcome in the house.

Studies have also shown the less time a child spends outdoors, the higher their risk of nearsightedness. So get outside and enjoy nature.

Why Homeschooling Preschool is a Waste of Time

Childhood is Not a Race

Childhood seems to be a long forgotten, quaint concept that we no longer have time for in our uber-competitive global economy. As soon as our child is born, we are preparing them to get ahead and not fall behind.

Childhood is not a race to see how quickly a child can read, write and count. It is a small window of time to learn and develop at the pace that is right for each individual child. Earlier is not better.

– Magda Gerber

We accept this as inevitable, even though study after study has shown that the decline in free play and the increase in adult-directed activities are having a negative impact on children’s well-being. However, we have a choice.

Homeschooling Preschool is a Waste of Time (Their’s and Your’s)

We can choose to ignore the push for earlier and earlier academic instruction for children and say no to formally homeschooling preschool.

We can embrace a life that creates an environment supportive of a child’s development without resorting to a curriculum and schedule.

We can trust our parenting intuition while reading picture books, playing in the park, and baking cookies.

Don’t waste your time, or theirs, by starting their academic instruction at too young an age, when the benefits are questionable.

This should be a time of encouraging curiosity and wonder, not of being confined to a schoolroom and worksheets.

Want more ideas on great ways to incorporate learning into the everyday life of your preschooler? Click the image below and sign up to get my Better Than Preschool Checklist will 100 everyday activities to help your preschooler grow and learn.

Other Posts to Help You Down the Life Learning Path with Your Preschooler

Caution: You Don’t Need a Curriculum to Homeschool Preschool
100 of the Best Life Learning Tips to Inspire Your Homeschool
100+ Things to Create an Educating Life
Why You Need to Cultivate a Homeschool Mindset
Homeschooling Preschool is a Waste of Time

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  1. While I agree with this in principle, I also believe that each child is an individual and that “homeschooling” allows us to do what is right for the child and our family. My son is almost 4 and we know that he thrives on routine and schedules. We also kept him home this year instead of sending him to an excellent Waldorf-Montessori-based preschool program for many of the reasons you describe – although it was play-based, it just wasn’t time to send him to “school”. This is who he is and what works for us. But he’s also clamouring for more. We were already doing library trips, tons of reading, lots of outdoor play, free play, cooking (has been since he was able to stand on a chair), and crafts but he’s curious about letters and is showing signs of being ready to read. So doing some more structured activities several times a week felt right for us. So we bought some workbooks. It has turned out wonderful. It’s fantastic for those times when we all need to sit and do something different and has reinforced his need for learning and structure at the same time. Although we encourage drawing (and even sit with him to draw), he only ever lasts at free-drawing or colouring in standard colouring books for a few minutes. But if we sit down to do a few colouring sheets with numbers, letters, or mazes, he’d do it for an hour if we let him. So, while we don’t really have a firm structure, and we do still work in a ton of free play and other activities, the workbooks have been an amazing addition to what we were already doing.

    1. It’s all just about doing what you feel is best for your child and following their lead. Your son is interested in these things and that is great your supporting him. Your the mama a d you know what is best for your babe and at what age. Good you followed your instincts. I think it is great your son led you to these activities instead of you pushing them on him. I think that is the distinction in the article. Just doing what feels right for your family not what someone else says is right. Good job mama!

  2. Loved this article. It really reflects my beliefs too. Thank you.

  3. Christina says:

    Youre 100% right. I have been feeling guilty for not putting my oldest in pre school so I decided I would find a curriculum to homeschool her.. All in all I love that learning is so diverse and that with the option of homeschooling you can find manu ways to make learning relevant to everyday living. But until I read this I think I did not really understand that, especially within these young years for children.

    1. Oh, good! I’m so glad. They are so young and learning is natural. There is no reason to get so academic, so soon.

  4. How about, learning is fun? If you and your preschool age kid hate it, don’t do it. But, if your kid WANTS to learn (regardless of whether or not they are academically gifted) and you enjoy teaching, why not??

    1. Yes, learning is fun. I can’t keep someone from learning. The false idea our society holds on to is that learning is only a result of being taught, which is patently false. Also, you being a guide and your child learning does not require “school time” where you sit down and follow a curriculum. This can actually cause a child to hate learning because they associate it with doing something they don’t really want to do. Every child WANTS to learn, that’s how we are made, but learning for a young child should natural. Once we separate learning from the rest of life, that’s usually when they start to resist.

  5. I’ll agree to disagree on this one. Good discussion piece for sure.

  6. Agree! I waited till my kids were 6+ before starting any formal lessons or worksheets. Best thing I ever did! They picked up everything they would have learned in preschool in a couple months. I cherish the reading, walks, field trips, cooking, and playing we did those first years of life.

  7. I’m going to say I agree that the
    curriculum thing is a bit ridiculous for pre schoolers. However, maybe when you were in kindergarten you weren’t expected to have any formal education, but today’s kids are a little bit. because pre school has become a thing in our societie whether you like it or not. having them know their ABC’s and numbers 1 to 10 and shapes and colors is a great way to start them out so kindergarten isn’t a struggle for them. I feel like helping them learn basic things like that, as well as how to at least hold a pencil, will help them so they don’t have a total culture shock in kindergarten. However I think we can both agree that pushing a curriculum or a subject on a child, who obviously is not ready or willing to learn it, is not a good thing.

    1. Are the kids that were required to have K be the new first grade doing any better? No, so why are we pushing it? Plus, children learn their colors, letters, and numbers without a curriculum and without preschool. My biggest concern is that we need to slow down for all children. Climbing a tree is important for a four-year-old, and maybe even more important than holding a pencil. Are today’s children mysteriously different that children 40 years ago? Or have our expectations and pride as parents surpassed what is best for kids?

      1. Reading this post has actually calmed my nerves. I have been stressing and crying about sending my 3 year old to “preschool” because everyone is asking “why is she not in there” “when will she go?”It’s almost like peer pressure. Every family do things differently and I as a mother don’t feel comfortable sending her, all the things you have mention I do with her and she enjoys it so much. I see that now I am not alone.

  8. After reading this article, I’m a bit surprised at how the social emotional aspect of a child’s development is unaddressed. Kids want to play with other kids. They need to learn to interact with the world, how to treat people kindly. You can show them at home, set a good example, but they are entitled to a chance out in the world with their friends, friends they chose. As a kindergarten teacher I am bias. But I’m also a mother & LOVE all the amazing, fun, messy, interactive activities I see her doing as she plays along side her friends in preschool. She learned to trust & loves her teachers. She was so painfully shy before and now her confidence has exploded. Aside for religious reasons, homeschooling past 1st grade, robs them of a huge part of the human experience, in my opinion. But at least you are trying to share what you believe is best. Can’t knock that.
    I believe in learning through play, and I think you do to.

    1. Well, since I had my five girls in less than 8 years, they’ve always had interaction and daily learn to deal with disagreements. However, I guess my question would be why is schooling such a huge part of the human experience? Is that best or necessary? Has is always been that way? No. Homeschoolers have more opportunities to interact with the outside world and deal with people of all ages and beyond their zip code. Actually, forcing classroom learning at the age of 3, 4, or even 5 is, I believe, not respecting the social and emotional development of children.

  9. For me it is more about the routine. Which may not be an issue with other families. I agree that it shouldn’t be soley academic but I can’t imagine a four year not knowing the ABCs, it’s fun song.

  10. A lot of the things you brought up that you do naturally (songs, games, etc) aren’t things that come to me easily. Using a preschool curriculum gives me some guidance on how to engage with my child. It’s play-based so it’s all fun and no one is forcing me to complete each activity so I pick and choose what is best for my kid.

    1. And used like this, that’s great! I just don’t want moms to think their 3 or 4 or 5-year-olds must start doing “school.”

  11. Erika Stasiulewicz says:

    I work on numbers and letter sounds with my 2.5 year old because she loves them. She loves to trace her sandpaper letters and say the sounds and find the small language objects that correspond to the sound. Same thing with the numbers. She also enjoys counting and building her short bead stair. For her pencil grip, she traces with metal insets, does the knobbed cylinders, or spooning work since that strengthens her fingers. Most of her day is just play, but I throw those things in because I’m a Montessori teacher, and I’m sold on the sensitive periods. This is far from a waste of time to me.

    1. Doing these things as a natural extension of your time with her isn’t a waste of time. However, moms who are stressing because their 3-year-old needs to do “school” and “table time” is unneeded stress.

  12. I agree! I homeschool my children. And I can say yes, I love every bit of your writing here.

    I used to get worried; will my kids be able to read and count and socialize without them going to school? Surprisingly, kids learn best when we give them enough trust and space.

  13. I believe this misses the point of preschool. Most parents must work. Preschool allows children to learn during the day while parents are making ends meet. Sometimes grandparents and other family childcare providers are not equipped to provide an educational environment. Not every family has the financial luxury of having one person staying home all day with children. So, no, preschool is not a waste of time for many families.

    1. This is specifically about homeschoolers whose children don’t have to go to preschoolers. I understand for many families that is the best option for their child. My point is that moms don’t need to recreate a preschool classroom in their home.

  14. Milani Hall says:

    My 14yr old sister went to preschool my highschool provided. And she is one of the smartest in my family. She started playing with those little Rubix cubes at 10 years old. We are literally in the same math and she is two years younger than me. She was literally reading Junie B. Jones to her preschool class. I’m sorry but I’m not so sure how true this article is based on my sister.

    1. So you believe she wouldn’t be as smart if she didn’t go to preschool? Perhaps, she’s just bright. I have 6 children and their ages and levels in subjects vary greatly. I think that’s to be expected. And if she was reading to her preschool class, she must have entered with those skills, not acquired them there.

  15. Juliette Lyon says:

    love this thank you <3

  16. I really appreciated how you wrote this post. Thank you so much for mentioning the research showing that head start doesn’t put kids at any long-term advantage, and the other articles you mentioned. It can be so easy to get sucked into the rat race of educating in this way or that, so thank you for reminding us readers to let go of the pressure of early education!

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